John and I have decided to go vegetarian, dairy-free, and gluten-free. To John, this means stocking our refrigerator with a seemingly endless supply of Falafel King.

As I came down with an obnoxious head cold that rendered me unfit for leaving the house, John chivalrously rode off to the grocery store and came back with two of our three blue, reusable bags filled with different kinds of plastic-packaged falafels and “Tahina” (which sounds like Tahini, but has other stuff in it, too). The third bag contained two boxes of corn flakes and a sweet potato.

When he walked in two hours later and set the bags on the counter for unloading, I hungrily climbed out of bed to greet him.

“Seriously, I don’t know what took me so long!” He explained, innocently unloading the bags of falafels. “I seriously just walked around for awhile.”

When he’d unloaded everything, he looked at the items on the kitchen counter searchingly and shook his head. “Damn. I forgot the almond milk.”